By Rachel Terry, Opinion Editor
Marketability is quickly replacing humility in our competition-driven society. People are taught to showcase their strengths while hiding their weaknesses in an effort to present idealistic versions of themselves. Humility is important because it makes authenticity more valuable than pride.
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself,” author Rick Warren said. “It is thinking of yourself less.”
In an article for the Association for Psychological Science (APS) Observer, Don Emerson Davis, Jr., and Joshua N. Hook split the definition of humility into two categories.
“On the intrapersonal level, humility involves an accurate view of the self,” they said. “On the interpersonal level, humility involves a stance that is other-oriented rather than self-focused.”
An accurate view of the self is obtained by achieving a high level of self-awareness.
Green Peak Partners and Cornell’s School of Industrial and Labor Relations performed a study analyzing the importance of different interpersonal traits.
“A high self-awareness score was the strongest predictor of overall success,” it states. “This is not altogether surprising as executives who are aware of their weaknesses are often better able to hire subordinates who perform well in categories in which the leader lacks acumen.”
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Authenticity and transparency are often present in relationships between self-aware people as evidence of humility. These people understand that there is always room for improvement, and they have acknowledged the areas of their lives in which they need to grow.
C.S. Lewis’ “Mere Christianity” paints a clear picture of what it looks like for an individual to walk in selfless humility.
“He will not be thinking about humility,” Lewis said. “He will not be thinking about himself at all.”
Perhaps the key to true humility is shifting one’s focus from inward to outward. Instead of trying harder to think humble thoughts and say humble words, it can be more effective to serve others and focus on their needs.
Dale Carnegie includes a lot of helpful advice on how to accomplish this in his book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” A large portion of his book is devoted to six surefire ways to become an effective communicator by building rapport with others.
Principle number one sets the tone for the next five principles and acts as a snapshot of Carnegie’s message. It states, “Become genuinely interested in other people.”
Obvious, yet convicting.
Not only is interest in others at the root of developing a humble spirit, it is also the key to becoming an apt communicator and exceptional friend. It contrasts with our culture of self-promotion by creating space to highlight marketable qualities in others instead of in ourselves.
Principle number four reminds readers to be good listeners and also to encourage others to talk about themselves. A person’s ability to listen to others and validate their emotions and experiences before his own is a true sign of humility. He is holding others as more important than himself while not making himself any less.
Acquiring humility is a multi-faceted, intentional journey. Because they defy the standards set by competition and emulation, humble people stand out as the best leaders in their fields. They remain self-aware and focused on others.
“If anyone would like to acquire humility,” Lewis said, “I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realize that one is proud.”