Thanksgiving break is within sight, and if you’re a senior, you’re probably already bracing for the standard questions from your family.
“How’s your senior year going?”
“Are you seeing anyone?”
“Where do you plan to work after school?”
And, of course: “Are you ready to graduate?”
Am I ready to graduate? On paper, yes. My CCE’s done, I’ve only got a few major requirements left and I’m on track to graduate in the spring. But if I set aside transcripts and look at myself, emotionally and mentally, the answer is more complicated.
On the one hand, yes. Yes, I’m ready for something new. Yes, I’m ready to rid my diet of cafeteria and Bistro food. Yes, I’m ready to quit grinding out 10-page papers on subjects I don’t care about.
On the other hand, no. No, I’m not ready to work 40 hours a week 50 weeks out of the year. No, I’m not ready to start letting go of the safety nets of parental provision and campus life. No, I’m not ready to say goodbye to all of the friends I’ve made over the past four years.
I don’t think it’s wrong of me to feel that way. On the contrary, I think it’s important that we appreciate our time at Asbury while we’re still here. I know quite a few people who are ready to speed through their senior year and be done with it all — no more profs, no more books, no more chapel checker’s dirty looks.
I get it. After four years of spending over a hundred thousand dollars on tuition (and a couple hundred on textbooks you’re never going to use again), stressing over constant deadlines and living in an extremely sheltered environment, you’re ready for a change. You feel ready to take on the world, and it can be frustrating to wait another seven months to do so.
But if you focus too much on what comes after Asbury, you might miss all of the great things you gain by being here. Don’t think of those seven months as a dividing wall between you and freedom. Think of it as seven months to hang out with your friends (and make some new ones) before going your separate ways. Seven months to get advice from the professors who’ve changed your perspective and helped you grow. Seven months to attend every campus event you’ve come to love (because it’s not just a Spontaneous Pancakes break; it might be your last Spontaneous Pancakes break). Seven months of learning everything you can before entering career-oriented, adult life. Seven months of hearing chapel speakers and opening yourself up to hear where God is calling you.
It’s not seven months of imprisonment; it’s another seven months to figure out who you are before figuring out what you’re going to do next. (That goes for you too, underclassmen. You have more time left than we do, so make the most of it.)
However, while it’s important not to discount the value of your remaining time at Asbury, it’s also equally essential not to go to the opposite extreme of living in the past and not being willing to let go.
I’ll be honest; between the two extremes of detachment and nostalgia, I lean towards nostalgia. I’m a very routine-oriented person, which means that change of any kind (whether it’s unexpected weekend plans or, you know, the gateway into adulthood) is extremely disturbing and unsettling. Whether the disruption to my routine is hours or months away, it tends to make me anxious and paranoid, as if I’ll never be ready and I’ll never have enough time to do all the things I want to do. I find myself wishing that I could be back in the good ol’ days of sophomore and junior year.
But graduation is coming. There’s nothing any of us can do to stop it (well, nothing but fail our classes and stick around longer than we should). While it’s good to appreciate our time at Asbury and the memories we’ve made here, we can’t allow ourselves to get swallowed up in nostalgia. There is work to be done. After all; we haven’t graduated yet. There’s homework to do and extracurriculars to take care of. And as painful as the job-seeking process can be, it’s better to start in December or January than to put it off until May.
We have seven months left, seniors (even less for you proactive December grads!) — and if we want to make the most of that time, we can’t get stuck romanticizing the past or daydreaming about the future. We need to stay grounded in the present.
We might be Visionaries, but foresight is useless if you can’t see what’s right in front of you.
