I spent roughly five months at home in isolation this summer. Although I didn’t particularly enjoy spending months in my childhood bedroom, the time was extremely productive as I got to take a step back from the busyness of “normal life” and learn more about what is happening in the world.
Between reports of the deadly coronavirus and predictions of the impending apocalypse due to climate change, I found something else, something both more and less personal, an issue that is heavily affecting my friends (which also affects me, a very protective friend and empathetic person) that I will never truly comprehend because of my ethnicity. I scrolled through social media feeds full of disturbing footage, black and white obituary photographs, calls to protests and colorful educational graphics. I watched — and learned — through screens as my black friends fought for equality in an unjust system in the streets.
I can only speak from my own experience and for people who are in a position similar to mine, but from my observations this has been a difficult time for everyone. Our black brothers and sisters are obviously taking the brunt of this — they are victims of physical harm and harassment simply due to the color of their skin, they carry heavy emotional burdens and are weary after facing years of discrimination and from leading a fight. For everyone else, it seems that difficulty is found when they attempt to navigate the situation and join the fight. Oftentimes other voices (white voices in particular) come in and overshadow the very voices they’re trying to uplift. Also, when other parties are not entirely educated they can do more harm than good.
What’s the solution here? As a white woman, I acknowledge that this is not my question to answer. However, I am someone who, after heavy research and deep, frequent conversations with my friends from other backgrounds, feels authorized to speak to people like me. I feel qualified to give some advice to people whose ethnicity does not automatically put them at a disadvantage.
First of all, one of the first and most difficult things to do is humble yourself. Everyone loves to be right. Most people enjoy being the center of attention. This is an especially important point to members of the majority — we’re used to being front and center and having the loudest voices. However, when you’re trying to help others and speak for them, you need to take a step back, place yourself in their shoes and try to understand what they’ve experienced. Truly listen as other people share their experiences. Let them be raw and honest on their own — we don’t need someone to mediate or translate. You need to recognize that you may not be right about certain things and that you have likely made assumptions for others in the past. Placing yourself in a posture of humility is just a simple mindset and attitude change, but can be one of the most difficult things to do.
Educate yourself. Knowledge truly is power. Being aware of the history that led us here will give a deeper understanding of why things are happening the way they are today. Read as much as you can — books, news reports, Instagram story chains. Have conversations with people who have different experiences from you (your friends are a valuable resource, but remember, education is up to you).
The biggest challenge for me personally was confidently joining the conversation and fighting for racial equality. I was afraid of overstepping boundaries and speaking over the important voices. The biggest piece of advice I can give on this is to follow the lead of people who are most affected by the situation. If something feels too loud or too self-glorifying (hello, white savior complex and “woke” culture), it probably is. This is a conversation, so no voices should be louder than others, but everyone should be involved.
Ultimately, it boils down to a few points: Be humble and respectful, listen and learn and have considerate, but challenging, conversations. This process will likely be uncomfortable, but the most important changes come from uncomfortable situations.
