Dear Insecure:
I understand. I am one of you. My whole life has been a dance with needy attachment and lonely isolation. I’ve been stuck with my eyes turned inward, conscious of my every awkward movement, look, thought, emotion, even life, yet unable to change. I’ve spent many days alone, yet longing to be in community; trapped behind myself, but longing to give myself freely; silent, and wanting to speak. Dear Insecure, I understand. We of all people know what it feels like to be naked and ashamed.
But who else can know the depths of what it means to be clothed in an act of mercy? Christ did not come for the healthy but for the sick. We are the sick. “Blessed are those who are poor,” he says, “for yours is the kingdom of God.” We are the poor of the earth, the hungry, the weeping, the hated, the excluded, the insulted, the sick. It was us — those of us who know we are miserable — whom Christ came to save. Ours is the Kingdom of God, if only we will put our trust in Him.
But that is the issue. Trust. We can’t trust people, we say. They will hate and hurt us. And how could we trust God? He is so often silent in our misery. He lets us endure pain.
I have often been a slave to fear. Anxiety has ruled my life. It has manipulated me to the point of despair. But in my misery I have cried out, “Jesus of Nazareth, have mercy on me!”
And Jesus has come to the gutter where I lay. He has lifted me out and asked, “What do you want me to do for you?”
“Lord, I want to live free!”
And He has answered: “Follow me.”
That is His answer to our anxieties, our insecurities. He invites us into relationship and apprenticeship. But in order to follow Him, we must rely on His word that He will take us where we need to go.
Dear Insecure, if you want to find life, you must learn to let go of control and give yourself up, pour yourself out so that others do not have to endure the misery you have dealt with. Forfeit yourself, your protection and your comfort so that others might see the love of God through you.
I have found time after time that when I give myself up, I find myself loved. It is only in participation in the sufferings of Christ that we come to understand the love of God. For Christ endured so much more. So surrender, dear Insecure. For the sake of others, die to yourself. I know it is scary. It is a risk. But love is always marked by risk. Jesus says this is where life begins.
Dear Secure:
You are blessed. But every blessing was given to bless. Do not forget us, the insecure. We stand in the shadows, in the windows, looking out from the darkness. Sometimes you see us weeping and pity us, for we are shameful. Other times you laugh at us, for we are strange. Yes, we are strange and so are you. Every man is the worst of sinners. Every man is every shame. Do not forget that you are, were, and will be one of us one day if not now. Remember this and remember mercy. You are blessed to bless us and bless God through us. Do not forget mercy and God will not forget you.
But be wise and do not let us cling to you too strongly. Be our friend, not our mother. It is not your job to give us life. The life you live is not your own. It was given to you by God. Do not believe the lie that you can save us. If you grant us security in you, we will die together. Let God be our salvation, not you.
And beware, dear Secure, of being secure in the wrong place. The sand will sink below you and give way when the storm comes. Place your feet on the Rock and He will reward you. If this is true, when the storm comes, and it will, though the world gives way your life will be preserved, even in death. His security is not bound by what we see. It is greater. Be secure in Christ and the security he clothes you with.
Blessed is he who is insecure in the ways of this world. The way of heaven is for him.
But woe to him who is secure in the ways of this world. He will perish with the world.
And woe to him who is insecure in the way of heaven. His days are numbered.
But blessed is he who is secure in the Kingdom of God. His life waits beyond death.
