You’re in the driver’s seat.
Hands grip the steering wheel so tight your knuckles turn white, your jaw locked in place. Rain pours as you drive down a road where you don’t really know where you’re going. You’re driving blindly, trying to see through the foggy windshield while the check-engine light flashes over and over again. You ignore it and focus more on how you can hear the wind howling outside as the sides of your car tremble.
Under your breath you mumble again and again, “I’m fine, I can do this, I’m fine.” You refuse to pull over, refuse to check the engine. “If I make it through this,” you repeat, “if I can make it through this, I’m fine.”
Little do you know there will be more obstacles down the road, much bigger and a lot more destructive because you didn’t check the engine. You didn’t ask for help. You won’t admit that maybe driving through this whirlwind of emotions is too much for you because you don’t want to seem weak. You don’t want to seem like your life is out of control or that you don’t understand the feelings that you are feeling. So you keep driving, pretending like it’s a radiantly sunny day when you’re truly stuck in the middle of a hurricane.
Everyone has felt like this at one point or another. It’s been a hard day, a hard semester and a hard year. So why, if we know we are not alone in how we’re feeling, do we still refuse to talk about emotions?
Our emotions are a part of us. We are wired to be moved by our emotions as an opportunity to grow closer to each other and God, but too many times we shut our mouths and force them away. There’s a sense of emotional avoidance, where we view some emotions as good and believe those are the only ones we need to experience. We pretend the “bad” emotions such as anxiety, sadness and frustration, don’t even exist. We think they shouldn’t exist.
However, if God didn’t want us to ever feel, why would He give us emotions at all? We know He is the all-powerful Creator of the heavens and the earth, so if some emotions are bad, why would God let them exist? I believe it’s because our emotions allow us to gain a sense of spiritual maturity we couldn’t obtain without them.
Senior Pastor Kyle Idleman of Southeast Christian Church said that if we want to be spiritually mature, we need to be emotionally healthy. Our relationships with God are strengthened when we can be completely vulnerable, to let our emotions move us because then we can see Him in ways we never could before.
Psychologist and Spiritual Formation Pastor Bill Gaultiere found Jesus himself experienced 39 different emotions during his time on Earth.
“In the Bible, Jesus demonstrates the full range of human emotions and expresses them in perfect love,” Gaultiere said.
He even nicknamed the Son of God as “Jesus the Feeler” as a way to represent that Jesus isn’t ever going to tell us to shut our emotions down. Jesus experienced these feelings, including shame, so he could look us in the eye and say, “I know how that feels.” The only difference is he knows how to take those emotions and draw closer to the Father.
Idleman pointed out in a sermon called “How Ya Feeling?” that in Matthew 26, when Jesus went to Gethsemane, Jesus did three things. First, he told his friends (Peter, James and John) how he felt and asked them to stay with him. It’s a sign to us to have two or three people with us when we’re driving in that storm. We have to fight against that desire to be alone and find individuals who will stay by our side and help us work through our emotions.
Second, Jesus aligned his feelings with what God wants for his life. He said to let God’s will be done over his own, and following his lead will acknowledge our feelings truthfully without letting them swallow us whole. “What you feel is real,” Idleman said. “But just because it’s real doesn’t make it true. You may be feeling guilt and shame, and it’s real, but there’s no condemnation if you’re a follower of Jesus. You’ve been set free from the law of sin and shame.”
Finally, Jesus poured out his feelings to God. He physically fell on his face in the garden and admitted how he felt troubled because God can only redeem what we release to Him. God knows our innermost thoughts, our feelings and sin even if we never speak a word, but He wants us to talk to Him. I do this by journaling. Others use music or take a physical position of kneeling and admitting their emotions aloud. The beauty of this is that there isn’t only one way to talk to God. He is always listening, no matter the form in which you take to speak.
Imagine you’re back in that car. The storm is still raging on, except neither you nor your emotions are behind the wheel. You feel the sadness, anger and hurt but refuse to give them control or push them aside.
Now, Jesus is in the driver’s seat. He is leading you to a road that is clearer, brighter and more fulfilling. Your closest friends are ready in the backseat to support you whenever you need them. Facing the front, you relax in your seat for the journey ahead. It won’t be easy, but Jesus knows what he’s doing. He has been where you are and doesn’t plan on leaving you. Every hill and valley, every sharp turn and curve, Jesus will be there.
