I have been in the in-between my entire life, and so have you.
Vocational security versus a creative passion, blonde or brunette hair, a comfort-seeking life versus adventurously circumstantial variety, this decision or that decision.
I perceive this in-between in my life as a cautionary resistance of two opposing decisions. I am the contemplative speaker in Robert Frost’s The Road Not Taken poem, except the two roads are on each side of me, and I cannot see the beginnings of the roads, nor the ends. I must simply decide which road to join, since being in between the certain roads has been my recent path, and it is evident the road existed without me.
During spring break, my friend and I traveled to West Virginia for a creative reset and a mental rejuvenation. I longed for a word, picture, or color to come out of any second of the trip to give inspiration to my stale mind. My friend, one night while sitting in the resort’s jacuzzi (of all places to have a conversational epiphany!) broke the silence and said, “I feel like I’m stuck in this in-between.”
During our substantial and vulnerable conversation, I breathed a sigh of relief, not only because my mind was extracting the inspiration that it longed for, but also that I could extremely relate to her circumstance. The in-between is always present, yet only partially prominent, so one must come to the realization that the roads not yet joined are not missed opportunities, nor are they daunting, immediacy-driven life changes.
We are always stuck in the in-between.
There will never not be a time where you are content with your current circumstance or what you are actively working towards becoming. It is natural to want to hurriedly side-step or shift onto a new road to feel like you are accomplishing something or to place yourself under the false impression that you are growing.
Do not allow the realization that you are between two options sway you to make decisions more rapidly or produce anxiety, as well as not making a hasty switch to a life choice that you are simply momentarily leaning towards.
Take comfort in the knowledge that you will constantly and inherently be in between options and that even the “wrong decisions” are still intended for your particular path. There is no right or wrong or left or right. There are only the aspects ready or not yet ready.
Being between the options is actually the most beneficial.
You can never be your truest self without the introspection and contemplation that is needed and utilized to weigh options. For example, take my vocational surroundings in-between into consideration. I could make a parochial and clear decision between where I wanted to move after I graduate, but the habitation in the in-between until I make that decision is what is most vital to make growth. Do I want to stay a homebody and sustain comfortable relationships, knowledge of my surroundings, and grow as a person through those constants, or do I want to venture off, become completely ostracized from everyone I know, and exhibit personal growth from independence?
Being in that indecisive limbo is, in reality, giving me time in contemplation to expose my truest self. Then, I am aligning my values, preferences and personal goals in a cultivated perspective and leading me to the epiphany that will move my feet to a certain path.
So, allow yourself to see all that you have accomplished while being in the in-between. Congratulations, your indifference toward a distinct path due to your indecisiveness has actually led you to this very moment, and you are right where you need to be.
