The bus ride from Asbury to Joplin, Missouri, is long.
Asbury’s cross-country team has qualified for the NCCAA Championship meet for the second time in the three years I’ve been here. Most of my time on this bus has been spent recalling old running memories as I stare out the window at Illinois’ green and brown fields.
The bittersweet feelings I’ve been experiencing are not very enjoyable to me. Nostalgia never feels good with the way it closes up my throat and makes my chest feel tight. Yet I allow it to wash over me as my mind wanders back to my first few races as a cross-country runner.
With seven seniors running for the last time this weekend, many of my teammates have been wrestling with similar emotions.
Upon asking them how they cope with the end of their collegiate careers, Owen Vick claimed to share in my nostalgia, saying, “Even though the last time I represented the team was at the home meet on Asbury’s course, its bittersweet to know this is the end of a long season of my life. I’ve run all of middle school, high school, and now college, so it just feels really surreal.”
Kyla Rowell admitted to going through denial, claiming she’s been trying to distract herself and “ignore the bittersweet feelings” because she’s not ready to be done. “I’ve participated in sports since kindergarten, so it feels strange,” she said. “I know there will be some tears when the season is finished!”
I asked some of my fellow seniors to discuss how cross-country has strengthened their character.
Ian Wilkinson stated cross-country helped him with mental perseverance. “And not giving up on myself,” he added, “or the task before me, just because it’s difficult.”
Elle Hooper also affirmed cross country’s unique ability to shape one’s character, claiming that it taught her perseverance and endurance “even though it was hard to see it in myself sometimes.”
Cross-country has always been a way for her to stay active, but it has also helped her develop new friendships, encourage others, and practice humility.
Lucy Bryson recognizes how much physical and mental strength she’s developed through cross-country but isn’t afraid to enjoy some time off. “After I compete this week, I can see myself taking a big break for my shins because they need it,” she said. “I’ve gained so much endurance through cross-country, which has really opened me up to trying a half or full marathon and continuing to test my limits.”
Hannah Hopkins has also been dealing with pain this season after having a whole season off due to her injury but is hopeful to keep running.
“I’m really excited to get back out there!” she said. “This sport has always been good for me mentally, so I know I will keep running. It’ll just be without the pressure of competition.”
As for myself, running has been a part of my life for more years than I can count. I’ve been running competitively since I was eight, but I didn’t start cross country until middle school.
As an avid track lover, I’ve always been vocal about my preferences when someone would ask me which running sport I enjoyed more. Cross-country races always seemed too long, tedious and painful. You could be alone in the woods, or the middle of a cornfield, for over half of the race and not see a single person until you reached the finish line. One of my least favorite aspects of cross-country was the way my mind would wander. Being able to stay positive and engaged in a competitive mindset for 3.1 miles was not easy— especially when every muscle in my body would scream at me to stop.
Throughout most of my cross-country career, I’ve struggled with feeling confident in my endurance and mental fortitude past the mile marker.
Yet, by the grace of God, this season has been full of moments where my mental and physical strength were developed in ways that transformed my relationship with this sport. I’ve come to look forward to those three painful miles where I can pray for my teammates and praise God for the strength he’s put in our legs and lungs.
I know that my nostalgia will only get worse these next few days. But as for today, I embrace these bittersweet feelings and am thankful for this season even as it ends.
