In the year 2007, life was simple and my dreams of becoming a famous young pop star and actress were just within arm’s reach. I mean, if Miley Stewart (aka Hannah Montana) could live a double life with just a blonde wig and a mic, what’s stopping me? All I needed to do was take some singing lessons, get myself a record deal and of course my own show on Disney (duh), and bada-bing bada-boom, I would be the next rising star! Ahh yes, it was all coming together. Unfortunately, like most kids, my ambitious plans did not really pan out, but sometimes what we think may be a tragically missed opportunity can actually be a blessing in disguise.
It’s easy to romanticize and fantasize about things you don’t have. Daydreaming about being on television was fun for me… until it happened. I was just six years old when my Chinese dance group was featured on the Kentucky Educational Television station (KET). But my emotions were not ones of excitement or anticipation; I was nervous. I spiraled into anxiety just thinking about being perceived by other people, knowing I was being recorded and not having any control over what was being shown. Even the idea of potentially having hundreds or thousands or millions watching me made me want to throw up. And now as I reflect back and remember how visceral my emotions as a six-year-old were about it all, I wonder what would have happened if I had been famous at such a young age.
After Nickelodeon’s former child actress Jennette McCurdy, who started her acting debut at eight, put out her memoir, “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” in 2022, a plethora of child stars from many of our childhoods started to speak out about their own experiences with this burden. In fact just a few weeks ago, Disney’s former child star, Demi Lovato, who started at 10 years old in the Barney & Friends kids show, released a Hulu documentary called “Child Star.” Within the show, she reflects on her journey of being famous.
In her documentary, Lovato shares candidly about her mental health struggles, especially during the height of her Disney career, when she was touring, making new music, starring in the Camp Rock sequel and shooting new episodes of her show, Sonny With a Chance, all during the same time period. In one part of the documentary, she shares a moment of vulnerability and states, “There was this one time where I was in my tour bus, and I looked out my window and there were fans chasing the bus, and they were screaming and they were so excited that my bus was showing up to the venue. And I was just crying. Like, I could not stop crying. Like, why am I living my dream and doing what I love and have these opportunities in front of me, but I’m so f—ing unhappy? I would always feel so gross about myself. I knew that being on Disney Channel, I was in a coveted position that millions of people would trade me in a heartbeat and just, I felt like I was taking it for granted. But really I was just a teenager that was struggling” (time stamp: 54:00).
Making mud pies with handpicked flowers sprinkled on top. Running barefooted down my average suburban block. Mini shopping centers just around the corner with ice cream and chocolate-covered rice krispies. Hopscotch and friends littered in just about every corner of the neighborhood with cookouts and loud music and soccer matches in backyards. I didn’t have fame or fortune as a kid, but my childhood was filled to the brim with riches. I was a child, not a commodity to an entertainment machine. And even if I couldn’t see how lucky I was back then, now is as good as ever to be grateful for what I never had.
