You wake up to the sunrise. You pull yourself out of bed and into the kitchen, where you start breakfast for your husband and children. After sending your husband off to work with lunch and a kiss and your kids off to their studies, you have the house to yourself. Alone in your humble abode, you set to work with your cleaning supplies and a little elbow grease. When your family returns that evening, you have a home-cooked dinner waiting on the table. And at the end of the day? You send your children off to bed and prepare to do it all again.
This life is not for everyone, but the trend of tradwives is growing as an attempt to return to traditional family values, and this has raised many questions and debates about the controversial lifestyle.
Some take issue with this way of life because of its emphasis on the wife taking care of the husband. Some can’t handle the thought of a man being the head of the household. It can be a hard pill to swallow, especially for those who love their independence or who are strong advocates for career women. I know women who have prioritized making a difference through their careers, which is also admirable. But the woman who chooses a different path has not chosen a lesser life. I don’t think that she has chosen to be below her husband in rank; we shouldn’t be basing our value or status on economics. The husband may be the breadwinner in this scenario, but I think that a woman who is staying at home to raise the next generation is just as important.
While being a stay-at-home mom could be seen by some as being less ambitious than being a career woman, it is just as much work as a full career, if not more. My own mother is a stay-at-home mom, and what I took for granted as a kid, I am now in awe of. The sacrifices she made, and still makes, for her five children seem daunting to a single twenty year old.
There are many core values of the tradwife’s life that are valid and even honorable. A woman who embraces this life is committed to her family. In a world where traditional family values are declining, this is extremely important. According to an article from The Pew Research Center titled “The American Family Today,” “Family life is changing. Two-parent households are on the decline in the United States as divorce, remarriage and cohabitation are on the rise.” The tradwife movement is an attempt to restore values of a stable and traditional family life.
In my own life, I want a little bit of both worlds. I want to be a wife and a mother, and I fully support the traditional values of family. But I don’t want to commit myself to a family at the full expense of my dreams. I think a balance is healthy here. Yes, I would be happy to care for my family, but at the same time, I want to pursue my goals of writing, getting published, traveling, and learning other languages.
The way to find this balance is to be supported by a husband who is involved with the family as well. The number of stay-at-home dads has significantly increased in recent years. According to The Pew Research Center, “Dads now represent 18% of stay-at-home parents.” And this has increasingly been in support of the family. “Stay-at-home dads cite more varied reasons for not working for pay. In 2021, 23% stayed home to care for the home or family. That is up from only 4% in 1989.” The home should not, and cannot, be reduced to a hierarchy of roles. It is a joined effort between a man and a woman, with both sharing equally important roles in the family.
The core values that drive the lifestyle of a tradwife are ones of family, commitment and tradition, all of which are important; career women value success and change and progress. When it comes down to it, what you choose to do with your life is based on what values you prioritize and the sacrifices you are willing to make for them. While this life may not appeal to everyone, it is important to appreciate those who do choose this path for themselves and honor the sacrifices they make for the next generation and their loved ones.
