Google “Valentine’s Day,” and you’ll be bombarded with articles and ads claiming to show you the best gifts to get for your romantic partner, creative things to write in a Valentine’s card or unique activities and getaways to celebrate the holiday as a couple. But dig a little deeper, and you will begin to find another side to the anticipated and dreaded February day.
Increasingly, we are seeing resistance to the day of love. Unsurprisingly, a lot of this backlash is coming from singles. Thus, we end up with Galentine’s Day or self-proclaimed celebrations of self-love. Or, even worse, Single Awareness Day (SAD, unironically), an unofficial holiday celebrated on February 15 by singles in defiance of the overly gushy celebration of couples and love the day before.
In an effort to include singles and not make them so miserable on February 14, we now say that this day is not just for romantic love; it is for all types of love, including friends, family and even pets. I don’t see a problem with this. If the end goal is to recognize and celebrate love, after all, why not? The problem that I see is not with the action, it is with the intention behind it.
I fear that behind many seemingly harmless celebrations of friends is a desire to distract from singleness.Or worse, it becomes a small form of rebellion against those who are in a relationship and want to celebrate this day together.
Some are not so subtle. People hold anti-Valentine’s events. Nashville even held an Anti-Valentine’s Ball. This is an explicit countermove against lovers on the part of singles in reaction to the outward, showy ways that couples are spending the day.
Why has Valentine’s Day become so polarized? There’s nothing wrong with being in a happy relationship and wanting to express your love. There’s equally nothing wrong with wanting to show how much you love all the other important figures in your life. But why is it that so often the celebration of others is in response to couples? It’s almost like they are trying to prove that they are okay with being single.
Why can’t we acknowledge and even honor romantic love while we are loving our friends? Why do we try to use friends to try and fill the void of romance in our lives? Can we not appreciate the presence of both without trying to compete?
And then there are the ones who just don’t celebrate it at all. In fact, many Americans just see it as a regular day. They do nothing out of the ordinary. And you know what? Good for them. They don’t love the holiday, so they just don’t celebrate it. They don’t feel the need to hate on those who do enjoy it. Sometimes, you just need to move on with your life instead of railing against the world.
I don’t necessarily think we should all just shun the holiday because it has become so controversial. If you want to go out on a nice day? Okay. If you want to hang out with your friends and indulge in heart-shaped chocolates and rom-coms together? Great. If you just want to put on some pink pajamas and stay at home? Good for you. However you want to celebrate it, if you want to at all, just make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons. Because if you are doing it out of spite for your singleness, that is not in the spirit of love, which is the whole point of the holiday.
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