After teaching violin lessons to one of my students, we were talking. She surprised me by suddenly getting very excited, her eyes growing wide and eager. She told me how she just couldn’t wait for Valentine’s Day. Amused and curious, I asked her why she was so impatient. Immediately, she replied, “Donuts.” She had an unwavering plan to make donuts that day. Not to mention the pink sprinkles she bought with her sister-in-law at the grocery store! Who could forget about those?
This little girl was not thinking about anything romantic about Valentine’s Day. She was just determined to enjoy the holiday and time with family. Plus, pink sprinkles and donuts! It hit me: why are we so caught up in one aspect of Valentine’s Day – the romantic aspect? Why can’t we celebrate it with a heart full of joy, whether we’re single or not? I want to be like this little girl. I want to love Valentine’s Day, and other holidays, like a child, with wonder and excitement. I want to love it just for what it is: a day of celebration.
Even Jesus calls us to be more like children in Matthew 18:2 – 4: “And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, ‘Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven’” (ESV). Jesus is calling us to be more child-like. Matthew Henry, in his commentary on Matthew 18, breaks it down like this: “[A]s children, we must be careful for nothing, but leave it to our heavenly Father to care for us (ch. 6:31); we must, as children, be harmless and inoffensive, and void of malice (1 Co. 14:20), governable, and under command (Gal. 4:2); and (which is here chiefly intended) we must be humble as little children.” Jesus is not calling us to be child-ish (immature), but instead to possess certain positive qualities that represent the trust and innocence of a child.
We need to trust that our future is in God’s hands. Many singles on Valentine’s Day feel left out. It seems like the better option to just hide away in our rooms. But Valentine’s Day does not determine our future love life. We can rest in the fact that God determines it. And we do not have to focus on just our romantic relationships. God often blesses us with friendships and family. My mom has a tradition of giving all of us kids gifts. My gift has been sitting in my closet, and I’ve been waiting impatiently for Valentine’s Day so that I can pull out the red tissue paper and find what pajamas she got me this year. Instead of isolating ourselves and sobbing about our singleness, we can shower affection on our family and friends and draw closer in our relationships with them.
And even if we are in a romantic relationship, why limit our showering of affection to just our boyfriend or girlfriend? Part of being child-like is being kind and considerate to everyone around us. We are to be “void of malice.” There is nothing stopping couples from also buying gifts for or spending time with friends and family. The love and commitment between couples is worth celebrating. But so is the love family members have for each other. A daughter taking time to call her mom and to have a genuine conversation only brings the two closer together. And who can forget to mention friendships? They are the ones who help us when we need it. They laugh with us. Why should they be forgotten on Valentine’s Day?
But one of the most admirable characteristics of being child-like is humility. Being humble helps us put others first. Some singles take to celebrating themselves on Valentine’s Day with a day of self-care. Instead, we can reach out and celebrate with others. And if there doesn’t seem to be anybody to celebrate with, we can do something for a stranger. For couples, celebrating our romantic relationships by putting each other first is a great way to spend Valentine’s Day.
We should not narrow our focus on this day of celebration. Not only should we celebrate romantic love, but we also should celebrate the love of friends and family. We should be excited to just celebrate the holiday and express trust, kindness and humility where we can. My violin student will not be spending her day thinking about herself or her love life. No, she will be making donuts in her kitchen, with a little apron on, spending time with her mother and sisters. She will be standing over those donuts on a stool, gently shaking pink sprinkles on them, with a big smile on her face.
Photo courtesy of SACAS.
