Dear freshman Lily:
I’m supposed to pretend to write to you and tell you things that I wish I’d known as a freshman now that I am a senior. The problem is—I don’t feel equipped to be the one to offer all the solutions to problems you’ll end up having. We both know that you’re stubborn and determined to figure it out yourself, so what I say will most likely fall on deaf ears. But—maybe that’s something you need to hear. Be willing to ask for and graciously receive help from others when you need it. Some struggles that you go through are going to be impossible to overcome alone. It’s okay to say that you need to talk because you aren’t a burden. Lean on the people around you—the word “community” is overused (and you’ve probably heard it thousands of times already) but there is truly something to be said for having a support system that is there for you and wants to help you succeed.
At the same time—learn how to say “no.” Freshman burnout is real, and it is scary. You’re going to be offered a lot of fantastic opportunities, but no matter how hard you try, you will not be able to do it all. You can only balance so much before you tip over; you can only pour your cup out for others a few times before you’re completely empty. You know, like that Bilbo Baggins quote you love so much— “like butter scraped over too much bread.” It’s hard to turn people down—you don’t want to disappoint them or miss out on memories. Find a good balance and learn your body’s limits—then don’t push past those limits. You’ll only have these years once, so spend them to their fullest.
As I write to you, little Lily, I’m sitting in my apartment surrounded by plants I’ve collected and slurping down a bowl of ramen after my second day of classes. It’s been a long and hard road to get to this quiet and sweet moment, if I’m quite honest. For the first time since arriving at college, I’m at peace with who I am and where I am in life, and I know you’ll get there eventually. You’ll meet some of the best people and share some incredible memories with them. You’ll learn how to use your voice and be proud of what you say. It won’t all be like a movie though–you’ll cry yourself to sleep some nights, you’ll want to drop out more than once, and you’ll wonder if all those late nights working in the Blackbox theater will be worth it. Friends will fade in and out of your life, but you’ll find some people that you’ll want by your side for years to come. You’ll date some boys that will change your perspective of love, and some will break your heart—and you’ll break some hearts. You’ll learn how to make some killer sandwiches in the cafeteria and figure out the best place on campus to use the bathroom (fourth floor in Morrison, by the way). But now, it is senior year, and the end is in sight. You’ve stuffed these years full, and I’m proud of us.
Oh, and one last thing—don’t take it all so seriously. Don’t beat yourself up if your grades slip just a little bit, or if you grow out of a friendship, or if you forget a meeting. Don’t be afraid to take a risk on asking that guy out, or by trying something new. Live fully. Live with fury and deny the passage of time its’ quickness—because before you know it, it’ll be over.
I’m proud of you. Keep going.
Your future self,
Lily of 2022
