by Matthew Pertz, News Editor
An Asbury student sits at a conference table, a recorder face-up in front of him, tapping his nails together in his lap. His nervous ticks are natural side effects from the subject at hand.
“I don’t know if that’s technically rape,” he said, using that four-letter word nervously, “but that happened.”
He’s describing a series of forced sexual encounters at a high school job, coerced from him by his female manager.
“You’re the second person I’ve told,” he said in the first of two interviews, “and I told the first two days ago.
His account is both singularly shocking and wholly ordinary; one in every 22 boys and one in every eight girls will be forced into sexual intercourse before age eighteen, according to a CDC survey. Statistically speaking, that’s 24 guys and 91 girls at Asbury, loosely the same as the school’s entire quorum from Ohio or the sum total of equine and social work majors.
A disclaimer of sorts: the “but what about men?” card is played as the antithesis to feminist issues, but this story is designed to be a support; eight percent of rapes occur at work, and the ratio of victims slants 9:1 female to male. This story is here to affirm the experiences of women across the country, and to assert that workplace abuse happens with alarming regularity.
This student requested anonymity out of deference to his social standing and fear of bad faith attacks. When Googling statistics on sexual assault, the third related search is “1 in 5 sexually assaulted myth,” which cites a 2007 survey about assault on campus that the Justice Department later proved to be true. However, there’s still a plurality contesting the truthfulness of stories like this out of sheer orneriness.
The student’s account began with his joking in the break room with colleagues about how he had never been kissed when his female manager said “Hey, I’ll do it.”
“She was 26 at the time, with a fiancé and a child,” the student said, “so I assumed she was joking.” She later kissed him without warning. He was seventeen at the time.
The incidents escalated. As manager, she manipulated the schedule so she and he always closed the shop together. In most ensuing shifts, she groped him.
Later, the regular touchings turned into full sexual intercourse without consent. “One night while I was upstairs putting away stock,” he said, “she forced me to the ground and had sex with me.” She took off his clothes, laid him on the ground and raped him. This occurred five different times before the student quit his job.
The power structure using sex as its currency saturates small towns too. In the Nov. 10 issue of the Collegian I wrote, “If the gilded hallways of Hollywood are so littered with silent sins, we here in Wilmore can’t assume we’re any more immune.” When victims feel trapped by enforced silence, perpetrators can commit self-erasing transgressions. All crime, no punishment.
It’s worth noting, for journalism’s sake, he gave me his assaulter’s name and I tried to find her to give her a chance to respond. She has no apparent online presence and every search for her name turned up blank.
Seeking help at the time felt like a dangerous gamble. “We had a helpline, but it wasn’t really anything.” he said. “It just goes back to your manager, which was the person who was assaulting me.”
I called corporate headquarters seven times on two different days to confirm the policy’s existence but never received a response.
Even after leaving high school, he sought a safe space to tell his story. He saw two confidential counselors at Asbury, but still struggled to tell them. “I’ve been there before and hinted about it but they moved on to other things.”
A 1998 study of 400 women found that 55 percent experienced sexual abuse before age 16 and, “[o]nly 36 percent of those who had experienced abuse had ever told anyone of those events prior to their disclosure during the study interview.”
I have no way to fully verify this story. I also have no reason not to believe it.
More important than the downfalls of Kevin Spacey, Louis C.K., Charlie Rose and Roy Moore are the stories of Anthony Rapp, Dana Min Goodman and Julia Wolov, Reah Bravo and Megan Creydt, Leigh Corfman and Tina Johnson. The only stream by which honesty and humanness can be distributed is our collective faith in their words.
A 1999 study in Issues in World Health states that PTSD is likely in as much as 95 percent of rape cases. Another case found that 50 percent of victims quit their jobs in the year following their assault.
“Everyone deserves to have their story shared,” the student said, “and I think that this could help people to know that you can share it. And should. Even if you don’t want legal action to happen. I don’t really care about that anymore.”
Stories about assault are often characterized as giving a voice to the voiceless, but that’s a false image. Victims already have a voice; it’s our job to listen and trust them.
Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-4673 to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.
The Collegian strives to be a safe space to share these stories. If you would like to share, contact Matthew Pertz at matthew.pertz@asbury.edu or Robin Gericke at robin.gericke@asbury.edu.
The Center for Counseling
Students seeking to process and heal from trauma can find an open door at the Center for Counseling.
“When past assault experiences are disclosed in safe spaces, healing can happen by breaking the silence. Benefits of seeking treatment may also include exploring how to be free of shame and fear, seeing how the past affects current relationships, understanding of trauma and learning new skills to manage related mental health symptoms. The counseling process is one of dignity and empowerment, so when and how a person tells their story is always respected on the client’s terms and not coerced. Disclosing sexual assault can also benefit the community, help protect others being hurt by the same person, voice solidarity and combat a culture of silence and shame that can fuel a culture of power and control.” -Anna Lee Brown, Counselor
If you or a friend would like to talk to a counselor, visit the Center for Counseling weekdays from 8 am – 4 pm or contact them at counseling@asbury.edu or 859-858-3511 x2323.
