By Josh Peterson, Opinion Editor
I remember walking up towards the pavilion and reservoir that night: my brisk stride pushing me against the cool wind. I cross the wet grass – sneakers slipping – and glance up at the sky. The stars glint coldly back at me like scrap metal. I look out at the calm night; I take a few deep breaths and try to find some peace. But, I can’t focus. I feel a piercing, gnawing pain in my chest. It was sophomore year: I was unhappy and I was lonely.
I was not an outlier. We live in a lonely society, and it is only getting lonelier. In the Harvard Business Review, Former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy writes, “The world is suffering from an epidemic of loneliness…. During my years caring for patients, the most common pathology I saw was not heart disease or diabetes; it was loneliness.” Across the entirety of the social spectrum, he spoke with a large number of people struggling through life with near non-existent social bonds. Referring to an AARP study titled, “Loneliness among Older Adults,” he stated that 40 percent of adults in America report feeling lonely.
The newest generation is also not doing well. Jean M. Twenge documented in the Atlantic article, “Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?” that today’s teens are hanging out with friends in public less, dating less and driving less (an indicator of sociability) than the previous generation. They are also more likely to feel lonely. This may help explain the general trends in America: youth suicide, mental health cases and depression have all risen in recent years. Though hidden from plain sight, loneliness plagues many people in our Asbury community. Every day, you pass by people who are deeply hurting – people hovering around the edges of community. There are also many seemingly happy people with many friends, but no one they can truly connect with. This is something that should not be lightly dismissed. Loneliness can cause devastating damage, and it can literally take years off your life. In an alarming meta-analytic review titled, “Social Relationships and Mortality Risk,” researchers found that loneliness and weak social connections are associated with a reduction in lifespan similar to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Loneliness has this effect because it often increases cortisol levels, frequently called the stress hormone, and it weakens the immune system. Many lonely people are left feeling mentally, emotionally, and physically unwell as a result.
Loneliness is widespread in our society and it has led to terrible consequences. It is time we recognize this. We also need to work to remove the stigma on lonely people. Currently, our society views mental and emotional health as far less pressing than physical health. Mental and emotional health is subjective and, therefore, considered too ambiguous and imaginative. So, those struggling with loneliness are held in contempt by general society and are ignored. Those who need someone to talk to and who may need counseling services are obscured from the common view. We must stop acting toward people in this way, but work to create a free and open place for an honest dialogue on loneliness.
We must also do our own small part to seek out those who may be hurting. Who do you know at Asbury that may need someone to talk to? Or, just a kind word? If we remain conscious of those around us we can create a happier, healthier campus. And, if you are lonely, I encourage you to continue to reach out and remain open to others. Eventually, you will find community, just as I did some time after that night out by the reservoir.
