By Kara Aukerman, Contributing Opinion
Isn’t it funny how we often look to those who have suffered for pieces of wisdom? And yet, there is something to be said about the value of struggle. I was blessed with a year of intense struggle that taught me more about myself and about my hope in God than any other event in my 21 years on this beautiful earth.
In October of 2017, I was very suddenly diagnosed with End Stage Renal Failure (ESRF) just a few weeks into my sophomore year at Asbury. I was rushed to the emergency room, and after hours of various tests and lab draws, I was instructed to leave school and move closer to my support system. I needed dialysis treatments, and I would eventually need a kidney transplant.
I spent months on an extremely restrictive diet while taking upwards of 11 different medications three times a day and seeing, at the very least, four doctors a week. I underwent x-rays, CAT scans and biopsies, and I had liters upon liters of my blood taken and sent off for more testing — all of which provided no answers as to what happened to my native kidneys and why. I had a tube implanted into my abdomen where the dialysis treatments took place for 10-12 hours a day, which left me without much of social life for the better part of a year.
Just a few months short of a year after the discovery, I received my new fully functioning kidney. A few days after surgery, my body began rejecting the new kidney, causing all sorts of new issues, new treatments and new medications. I’d like to say things are just peachy keen and the suffering endured is over, but the reality is that I still have an endless line of doctor visits and lab draws, I still have a handful of medication I take twice a day and the list goes on, but there’s something so much bigger for me to focus on.
Over these months of pain and suffering, God has remained faithful and present, reminding me always of the hope that we are freely given. Romans 5:3-5, “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
This has been my mantra the last year and a half as I have revelled in this hope Paul is talking about. He is not talking about hope as a way to suggest that our suffering will soon end; rather, it’s in the ultimate hope that we have in heaven.
We always seem to be awaiting the ending of one season or the beginning of another because we foolishly think that it will bring an end to the suffering that we’re facing right now, but I can tell you firsthand that it doesn’t.
There is always something around the corner waiting to upset our contentedness, which is why it is so important for us to remember that keeping heaven in the forethought of our mind is not merely awaiting some distant rapture to the pearly gates; it truly is a mindset one must adopt. If you keep Heaven in the forethought of your mind, it makes any current obstacle seem minuscule in comparison to the joy that’s coming.
We cannot continue the trend of being so inwardly and momentarily focused; we must realize at some point that life is not about us. We weren’t created to live a life full of pleasure; rather we were created for God to experience pleasure through companionship with us. Life is about loving, honoring and glorifying God — in our happiness, in our boredom, in our relationships and, yes, in our suffering.
