Not every family is the same. We all have our own dysfunctional relationships within our households. Some people have better relationships with family members than others, but we all share one thing in common: we hate the thought of change.
We are all about to pack up our things and move out of Asbury for seven weeks … or longer. No matter where we travel to over this winter break, we will not be here anymore. Some of us love the idea of going home and some cannot stand the thought of giving up our complete freedom. With the added stressors of the election, a pandemic, seasonal depression and upcoming holidays, living at home for seven weeks with nothing to do but stare at the ceiling and debate whether we should go into hibernation or get a job to make some money just keeps sounding less and less appealing.
For starters, I am blessed to have an amazing family that loves me unconditionally. My mom is retired and stays at home while my dad works through the week. I also do my best to stay busy over the breaks by working to pay for school. Although this is the case for me, not everyone has this family dynamic. For many people, going home scares them. At Asbury, we can live on our own and do whatever we want, whenever we want. This is our way of blossoming into adulthood and learning how to make our own choices.
Odyssey’s Lucas Lino Ortiz, when giving an example from his own life, said, “It took three weeks before my parents realized that ‘living the happiest life I can live’ for me meant sitting at home playing computer games while watching Fresh Prince of Bel Air reruns.”
When we move back home, we constantly have our parents breathing down our necks, wondering what we are doing, who we are talking to, why we aren’t eating, why we are eating so much, why we slept in until 4:00 p.m., why we were having a solo party in our room at 4:00 a.m. and countless other decisions that we make every day. Another issue we face is the disappearance of our personal space.
“‘Personal space’ and ‘childhood home’ aren’t even in the same dictionary,” Ortiz said. “When you move back home you can’t just go to your room, lock the door and know that no one will disturb you.”
The sad part is, he is right. I am not even allowed to lock the door to my room. My parents say, “What if something bad happens and we need to get into your room?” when they just want to be able to keep a check on me. Most families struggle with several things when we come back home from college. Some things we must get used to sharing are space, food, responsibility and even rules. Most parents expect their children to pick back up with chores right where they left off when they started college. This can be difficult for us as we are used to having our own schedule and independence. Although this is not how we are used to living, we do live in their houses and must follow their rules within reason, no matter how invasive they may be.
However, this does not mean we must conform to keep the peace between whoever we are living with. Even though moving back home can be an obstacle, do not let that keep you from being who you are. Whether you live with your parent(s), grandparent(s), sibling(s), friend(s), etc, continue to be who you are. Keep finding yourself every day and use these upcoming weeks as a mental, physical and emotional break for yourself. You owe yourself that much. Take that break, read that book, take that nap and pet that dog. We all have our own homelife issues, but soon enough we will be back in the swing of things, complaining about school and saying how much we are looking forward to the next school break. I think we all just hate change. Good or bad, change is hard to adjust to. Have safe travels home everyone, and make the most of your time away from Asbury!
